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“How Are You Feeling?”

I’ve been getting that a lot lately, combined with seriously concerned looks, both in Kentucky and here in Costa Rica. I was wondering why until I happened to catch myself in the mirror last night. You know, just regular, without the posing. It was a little scary: the hair. No wonder people look at me like I might break! Here’s what they see:

Scared yet? Bwah-ha-ha-ha-ha! That little bald spot in front is attractive, yes? I can’t dye my hair because what’s left will probably dissolve. It’s all dry and stiff, un-tame-able and creepy feeling. You can’t really see . . . → Read More: “How Are You Feeling?”

This Ain’t No Workout-Time!

The trainer at my new gym here in Costa Rica, Carlos, looks a little like Antonio Banderas. Dark, good-looking, great smile. But, if you go in there, don’t let that pretty face fool ya. The man tried to kill me. He is darkness personified. At least no one over at Workout-Time, our old gym, tried to hurt little ole La Jefa [la Hay-fah, the boss]! But I guess here in Escazú, Land of Gringos, things are done a little differently. More developed-nation like. They definitely charge developed-nation-like prices.

As soon as we got all moved into our new Costa Rica home, we looked for a gym. Hal is hot on working out. Something about getting old. I try not to listen. We wanted someplace along the lines of Workout-Time charging Workout-Time prices. Something neighborhoody. We don’t need no stinking modern equipment to build these old bodies. Perhaps “build” is the wrong word. “Salvage” would be more fitting. But, no, nary a neighborhood gym left in Gringolandia. I did find a World Gym for $100 month. It had EVERYTHING. Including well-dressed, fit ticas y gringas in brand new Nikes and gold bracelets. Not really our style. Workout-Time was only $16/month. Just the thought of jumping from $16 to $100 got my heart pumping.

We decided on Gimnasio ArenaTrek. A first-world gym, it was welcoming, $30/month, clean, more tico than gringo members, with every piece of new equipment out there. And the trainers, they all look so nice. Which is part of their gimmick. I’m writing this as a public service: don’t be fooled. They get your money, THEN they try to kill you. Here’s how:
Continue reading This Ain’t No Workout-Time!